A struggling marriage is no fun. Could I be any more simplistic? When you are not getting along well and the tension is thick—life, love, and family are simply no fun. Day after day it becomes increasingly more difficult to talk with each other through the clouds of disbelief and rain of negative beliefs.

You don't know what to do, and even more importantly, you don't know who to turn to.

Eileen, the Episcopalifem, wrote an incredibly honest portrait of her own struggling marriage. I've never read Eileen's blog before, but her beginning paragraph caught my eye:

First off…Friday evening. Husband and I had a quick chat, he finally agreed to go to marriage counseling with me. Of course, now I have to find a counselor, which I don't relish, but, I shall do my part and search for one.

It is scary to look for a marriage counselor—and it's not because of the counselor. I believe it is frightening to look for a marriage counselor because, at a deep level, we have to admit there is something wrong in our marriage—something wrong with us. That is the scary part of looking for a marriage counselor. The fact that we must embrace our imperfection and look directly in the mirror and say, "What went wrong?"

But do not fear, most marriage counselors do not bite. The biggest secret in finding a healthy and productive marriage counselor is to find one that fits for you. Someone you like (not someone who doesn't challenge you, but someone you can handle the challenge from), someone who is recommended by people you trust. That is the easiest way to find a good marriage counselor.

Start by asking your pastor, a friend, a family member who might know of a trusted marriage counselor. Then, once you meet this marriage counselor, make sure he or she is a good fit for you as a couple. Don't be afraid to look for someone else if you don't match well with the marriage counselor. An important part of the therapeutic process is being able to relate and feel empathized from the counselor.

For more information please visit http://www.crashintolove.com/marriage-restoration/

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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