I need to be honest, and I want to be honest. I'm one of those people that typically turns to God at the last moment—when all hell has broken loose in my life—I will finally turn to the Bible or go to God in prayer.

So this morning I decided that I would not wait for impending disaster any longer, but instead, would actually try to get ahead of the game and go to God's word ahead of schedule and seek God's counsel through prayer before I'm in total crisis.

I was reading 1 Peter, which is an excellent book to go with if you want to feel really successful, because you can read the entire thing at one sitting. A particular verse popped out at me this morning (I was reading from The Message) and I want to share it with you:

Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. (1 Peter 4:8)

I have a client who's husband could be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder. He's been nothing short of horrible through abuse, affairs, and inappropriate threats to her life. I will protect her privacy, but her upbringing was even worse than her marriage! She is not from this country and has survived things that you and I could never understand.

But she has taught me something through our time together. She is living 1 Peter 4:8. Even though her husband has treated her horribly, she has not responded in kind, rather, she has done the right thing. She is a believer and does not think she should be cruel back to him, and just the other day he actually said to her, "Why haven't you done anything bad back to me?"

There's some powerful research coming out on how to help someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and guess what? The most promising therapy is couples therapy! That's right, a Narcissist needs someone who is capable of loving them and empathizing with them despite all the horrible things they do.

I always tell clients (and remind myself a lot), no matter what, do the right thing and things will go well for you.

Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here's what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth. God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he's asked; But he turns his back on those who do evil things. If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. (1 Peter 3: 8-15)

If you would like to experience the healing power of couple's therapy, please visit our website, crashintolove.com, for more information on our one day intensives. The information can be found under the marriage restoration link.

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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