Being a healthy family is difficult—especially when you add peer pressure for both the parents and the children. I find it interesting that when someone mentions peer pressure, people usually think of kids and their struggles through school to avoid drugs, sex, and rock & roll.

Parents struggle with peer pressure as well, which means it is a family issue. The bible talks about peer pressure or the negative influence of "the world". John 17:15 tells us, "Just as I didn't join the world's ways. I'm not asking that you take them out of the world But that you guard them from the Evil One." This was part of Jesus' prayer to God in wanting to help and keep us safe.

Here's the deal. There is a negative world of influence on your family. Both a physical influence and a spiritual influence. The physical influence is the easiest to see and comprehend because it is right in front of our face. Bad friends, poor teachers, televangelists (not all of them mind you), people of this world that bring us down and cause us to stumble (of course it is our choice to follow them).

The physical influences are easy to see but sometimes hard to run away from. So how can we be in the world but no of the world? We start with hiding God's word in our heart. Verses like 2 Chronicles 31:20-21 tell us to start doing what is right and true in the eyes of God:

Hezekiah carried out this work and kept it up everywhere in Judah. He was the very best—good, right, and true before his God. Everything he took up, whether it had to do with worship in God's Temple or the carrying out of God's Law and Commandments, he did well in a spirit of prayerful worship. He was a great success.

When we conduct ourselves in the way God desires, things will go well for our family. When we don't, things go bad. We all know the feeling, that gut wrenching sensation that tells us we shouldn't be doing what we are doing.

The negative spiritual influences are the ones that are not as easy to notice. But they are very real. C.S. Lewis wrote:

There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve their existence. The other is to believe and feel an unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.

I believe one of the greatest victories the evil one has had in America is the total disbelief in demonic influences working against us. There…I said it! I almost feel strange and unpopular writing this down officially. But I truly believe it and can not ignore it any longer.

I know some of you are thinking to yourselves right now, "But I do believe Satan and devils exist…who is he talking about?" I don't doubt that many Americans believe there is evil, I just doubt many Americans believe this evil is actually influencing them in real and dramatic ways.

For many of us, our view of demonic influence was developed through seeing clips from the Exorcist movie or Hollywood in general. Which is really a brilliant strategy from the evil one, when you think about it.

I used to think, hey, once you're a Christian, you can no longer be influenced or possessed. But here's the problem, and I don't want to get into a huge theological debate, but the reality is that the evil one, or like one of my nephews likes to call him, the bad Jesus, has dominion over this world. He is here to kill, steal and destroy. This is the reason Ephesians 6 tells us to put on the full armor of God, because there is a battle for our very soul!

I used to read those verses (I even based a book on them titled Don't Date Naked and repeat them for others, but I don't think I truly understood them. I didn't take them very seriously. But then I learned something from a now good friend of mine, Dr. Ed Laymance.

Do you remember what the verse says in Matthew 12:23, "Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.'" Jesus spoke these words when Peter was trying to talk him out of the cross or at least convince him that it wasn't going to happen.

Do you think Peter, the rock of the church, was possessed by Satan? It sure sounds like it, Jesus rebukes Peter, but doesn't actually call Peter…Peter. Jesus looks right at Peter and says the famous phrase, "Get behind me, Satan!"

Ed helped me learn that even though a Christian is owned by Christ, he can still be influenced negatively by the evil ones. It's not about possession like you see in the movies, but rather about influence. Pressure to do what is wrong.

It's not just the peer pressure we need to be worrying about for our families, there is spiritual pressure as well. Here are three ways you can handle spiritual pressure:

1. Get rid of things that are entangling your family. Hebrews 12:1 tells us, "Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins." Pray and ask God to reveal to you the things that are bringing down your family (i.e. certain movies, music, video games, etc.). We had to do this activity ourselves and were shocked when God revealed to us the things we needed to discard in our lives. Just one example was that somehow, in my laziness (which is the only way I can explain this), I had purchased video games for my 10-year old son that were rated MA! When I looked at them and experienced them, I was shocked at the language and imagery. I had a wonderful conversation with my son in which he also decided those particular games were no good for our family. We then replaced them with ones that were good. It was a true win / win situation.

2. Seek after the truth. John 8:32 tells us, "Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you." Jesus governed all of his actions based on God's truth and laws, our families should do the same.

3. Set your family up to succeed. Change your environment, what might work for others may not work for your family. 2 Timothy 2:23 reads, "Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights." Establish who your network of friends are, do they follow God's will and lift you up in times of need? Establish how your family is going to grow in Christ. Who's discipling you or your children? If you can't answer this question, then you need to find someone.

John Darby wrote, "It is in the intimacy of the counsels and the grace of God that man fortifies himself for the warfare from which he cannot escape…"

Take these three keys to heart and you will soon find that you are well on your way to becoming the family of your dreams.

For more information please visit www.crashintolove.com

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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