Our job as parents is to raise healthy, responsible adults. One of the greatest gifts we could give our children as they leave our homes is the ability to handle adversity. I recently came across a post from the American Association of Christian Counselors blog that found some interesting research:

Gabbing is good for your kids' health. Researchers at the Emory University Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life studied the conversations of Atlanta-area families and came across some noteworthy findings. Parents who encourage their children to talk about feelings, like anger and sadness, were more likely to raise resilient kids.

It turns out that my need for gab is a good thing for the kids! My dad used to tease me all the time about my inability to keep my mouth shut, but perhaps that is why I've always been able to handle adversity so well. In fact, my sister, Kari, is writing a beautiful post right now about her experiences surviving a miscarriage and how that has led her to the process of adoption. She has handled adversity incredibly well her entire life, and she too is a gabber.

But the research is clear, it is not simply throwing out a bunch of words, it's about sharing feelings like anger and sadness. You never want your children to hold those feelings inside for very long. They are like toxic waste to the soul. It will eat them up from the inside out. You can help you kids share these feelings by being safe. You can be safe by not being judgmental, critical, blaming, or shaming. In other words…don't be an impatient jerk to your kids when they need to share something serious with you.

For more advice on parenting, relationships, and other topics please visit our website at www.crashintolove.com

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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