Money. At least that is what most "experts" will tell you, however, most experts are often fooled by the surveys they pass out to couples. When you read somewhere that money is the biggest source of conflict for couples, writers and thinkers alike are misunderstanding the research.

Is it true that couples report having lots of conflict about money? Yes. The problem is that most couples don't realize that money is not what they are fighting about but rather the emotional button hit while arguing about money.

Here's the trick…any time you get upset about something (hurt, angry, depressed, confused, etc.) try asking yourself the simply question, "Why?". "What does this bother me so much?" Keep asking this question until you come to one of the key phrases like "I'm feeling rejected, like a failure, disconnected, ignored, misunderstood, controlled, and other (download the free list of core fears mentioned at the top of this page) great feeling words".

For more information on Michael Smalley or The Smalley Marriage and Family Center, please visit www.gosmalley.com

© Copyright 2008 Smalley Relationship Center

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