Journey with us back to the days of Abraham. Genesis 13: 5-18 tells the story of Abraham and Lot, and it gives us a demonstration of the no-losers policy.

God had asked Abraham to leave his home, his people, and his land to travel to a faraway and unfamiliar place. That might not be so hard today, what with trains, planes, and automobiles. But back then it meant moving thousands of livestock, herdsmen, and their families, and who knows how many tents. We're talking donkey and camel travel at this point, so slow doesn't even begin to describe it.

Lot was Abraham's nephew, so he tagged along the way relatives tend to do. Lot also had flocks and herds and herdsmen, and this massive group trekked across the desert together. Things were as plucky as the first day of the family reunion until the group heard something in the distance.

It turned out to be the unwelcome sound of people fighting—in this case, Lot's people against Abraham's people. The problem soon became clear enough: The land wasn't big enough to support the groups of both men. No one could see a solution, and the uproar grew until Abraham stepped forward and cleared his throat.

"Look," he said. "Let's not fight. I mean, come on, we're family, right?"

Lot stood there, unblinking. And that's when Abraham implemented the "no-losers policy".

"Tell you what," Abraham said, and gave his nephew a friendly smile and a pat on the back. "Looks like the party's over, but I'll give you first dibs on the land thing. If you wanna go right, I'll go left. You go left, I'll go right. Whatever makes you happy."

Now, we might add here that if Lot had used the no-losers policy himself, he might have hesitated and said something like, "No, no … by all means, this is your journey, after all. You choose first."

But Lot didn't say anything of the sort. Instead, he grinned like a lottery winner and took the well-watered land of the Jordan. Abraham got what was left.

This may sound unfair to Abraham, but fear not. God saw Abraham's heart as surely as he will see yours when you choose to seek a win-win solution with your loved one.

In the end, God pulled Abraham aside and said, "Lift your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give you and your offspring forever" (Genesis 13:14-15).

See that? God took care of Abraham, and he'll take care of you. Just make sure you have a no-losers policy implemented in your relationships.

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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