How to Find the Positive Side to Your Wife's "Negative" Traits

Negative Positive

1. Nosy—She may be very alert or sociable.
2. Touchy—She may be very sensitive.
3. Manipulating—She may be a very resourceful person with many creative ideas.
4. Stingy—She may be very thrifty.
5. Talkative—She may be very expressive and dramatic.
6. Flighty—She may be an enthusiastic person with cheerful vitality.
7. Too serious—She may be a very sincere and earnest person with strong convictions.
8. Too bold—She may have strong convictions, uncompromising with her own standards.
9. Rigid—She may be a well-disciplined person with strong convictions.
10. Over bearing—She may be a very confident person—sure of herself.
11. A dreamer—She may be very creative and imaginative.
12. Too fussy—She may be very organized and efficient.

Specific praise is far better than general praise. For example, "That was a great dinner" doesn't do nearly as much for her as, "The asparagus with the nutmeg sauce was fantastic. I've never had asparagus that tasted so good. I don't know how you can take plain, ordinary vegetables and turn them into such mouth-watering delights."

"You're a great mom" won't send her into orbit, but this might: "I'm really grateful that I married a woman who is so sensitive that she knows just the perfect way of making our kids feel important. They're sure lucky to have such a sensitive mother."

There is no right or wrong time to praise your wife. She'll love it when you're alone or when you're with the children and friends. Make sure you don't limit your praise to public or private times. If you only praise her in public, she might suspect you're showing off for your friends. If you only praise her in private, she may feel you're embarrassed about doing it.

Whenever you praise her, it's important that your full attention be on her. If she senses that your mind or feelings are elsewhere, your praise will be less meaningful to her.

As you learn how to praise your wife genuinely and consistently, you'll begin to see a new sparkle in her eyes and new life in your relationship.

© Copyright 2003 Smalley Relationship Center

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