Q: My anger has become a problem. I am explosive at home. My wife says I bring all the frustration from my job home and take it out on the kids and her. I do not want to do this. Can you help me understand anger? Also, what verses can I begin meditating on to help resolve my anger?

A: According to Dr. David Seamands, "Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it's very questionable whether you really love righteousness."

Anger is an emotion that is triggered by number of other feelings. You become angry when you feel rejected, judged, controlled, cheated, misunderstood, or like a failure. The trigger for anger is different for each one of us. But keep this in mind, Anger is not sin. It is what you get angry about and what you do with your anger that brings about sin. That is why Scripture says, "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…Ephesians 4:26.

There are 3 approaches you can take towards anger:

You can Stuff it. Here you hold it all inside and never work through it with a trusted friend, small group or accountability partner. Like sweeping conflict under the rug, stuffing your anger is not healthy. Solomon said, "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools" (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

You can Spew it. "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins" (Proverbs 29:22). "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" (Proverbs 29:11). "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25). Learn to restrain your anger by responding to God and not reacting to people.

You can Study it. Become a student of your anger by asking two important questions:

What am I angry about?
What am I going to do with my anger?

There are plenty of times we get angry about the right stuff, but do not handle it in an appropriate way. Be accountable to a small group friend and do not give full vent of your anger to your family. Then you will be well on your way to resolving your anger.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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