Q: I have a critical, negative and most of the time judgmental spirit. I tend to only see the negative and never the positive. My husband, kids, and co-workers all walk on eggshells in my presence. How can I change this lifetime attitude?

A: I would start by memorizing Philippians 4:8—"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Once you memorize this passage, chew on it all day long. When you get up in the morning, repeat this verse several times before you get out of bed. Then repeat it in the shower. Repeat in on your drive to work. All day long, wrap your mind around this one verse. In doing so, you will be meditating on it day and night.

The clinical term for this is confirmation bias. It means that once we make a decision of value on someone or something, we tend to only look for the evidence to support that decision. If you think your husband is personally autographed by God and live everyday with that belief, then you will only look for the behavior that supports that belief. But if you have decided that he is worthless, then you will see no value in anything he does. We only see what we believe. That's why Paul told us to make the decision to only think about, dwell on, and meditate on that which is true, honorable, right, pure, beautiful, adorable, excellent, and worthy of praise. If that is where your thoughts abide, then you will always be looking for the best in others.

This should put you well on your way to becoming a true joy. You have 100% control over becoming a more positive person. It starts with what you choose to think about.

Blessings.

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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