Q: My husband and I love each other. Divorce will never be an option in our marriage. This may seem petty, but we are struggling to have calm discussions. Lately, we have been getting "heated" over the dumbest things. What Scripture can I meditate on to end these squabbles?

A: Let me give you 3 Scriptures to memorize and meditate on:

Instead of adding more coals to the fire, add the cool balms of listening and compassion. Proverbs 26:20 says, "Fire goes out for lack of fuel" (NLT). When we cut off the fuel supply—rash responses, repetitiveness or any sort of edge in our tone—calmness quickly returns.

No longer make winning an argument the goal. Is winning a silly argument worth disconnecting from your husband? You can practice great communication no matter the size of the issue by guarding your lips. Picture a guard standing on your lips keeping watch over the words that are about to roll off of your tongue. Proverbs 13:3 says, "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."

The Bible says, "A fool shows his annoyance at once" (Proverbs 12:16). A fool doesn't take time to think but just blurts words out. Like toothpaste in a tube, words are squeezed out and then can't be stuffed back in. Use the smaller issues—like toothpaste—to practice holding your tongue. That may mean putting yourself in timeout. Such discipline can go a long way toward honoring your spouse. Then when the bigger issues come along, you'll have the wisdom and knowledge of when not to speak.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2008 Smalley Relationship Center

Print this page

E-mail this page

Bookmark this page

Back to top