Q: My husband believes that divorce is permissible for the Christian couple. I was always taught the opposite. Now we are fighting over the reasons for divorce. Go figure! What is the best approach?

A: Error on the side of miracles and resolve to stay.

When we say resolve to stay, we're not talking about staying in an abusive situation. In no way are we encouraging you to stay in a relationship with there is criminal activity, physical abuse, drug abuse, habitual adultery, or pornography forced upon children or spouse.

When we say resolve to say, we're talking about the relatively trivial issues that are blamed for most divorces today. Too many couples we talk to are using wimpy reasons to try to justify divorce, "We've just grown apart," "We don't see eye to eye anymore," "We've lost that lovin' feeling," and "We can't get past our financial issues." Those are not reasons for divorce.

Choose your battles. Not everything needs to be a major battle. Pet peeves and annoying personality quarks are best left alone, and definitely not to be harped on.

Choose your words. The "D" word is not to be even part of a punch line in your home. Don't even joke about "your next spouse" or "trading up" or anything of the sorts.

Choose your audience. Your commitment to each other and to the marriage needs to be shared with the children. They need the security, especially if they ever felt or heard the threat of divorce.

You can do this. Seek out help! Get professional counseling from your pastor or a counselor in your area. I am praying for God to do a miracle in your marriage. Will you let him?

Blessings!

© Copyright 2008 Smalley Relationship Center

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