Q: I was recently hurt deeply by a colleague at work. His integrity was called into question and that led to the company being hurt. He has since left the company to start his own business. I must admit, I hope his business fails. I am wrong for hoping he does not succeed?

A: I recently looked up the word "forgiveness" in the dictionary. Interestingly, it was the word right before Fort Know. I thought that was ironic. The definition read, To give up resentment against or the desire to punish.

Forgiveness is like pushing a release button. You let the other person go. Unfortunately, there are a lot of misperceptions of forgiveness. Some people buy into the myth that to truly forgive you must "forgive and forget". They believe that if you still remember the offense then you haven't honestly forgiven. As followers of Jesus Christ, you are invited to forgive even when you remember the offense committed against you. You don't have to forget in order to forgive. When you push the release button of forgiveness that does mean you can't bring up the issue again and make the other person feel bad about what they've done.

To explain in more detail about bringing up the "past hurts" of others, why do most people remind the offender of past wrongs committed? Because the offended person would secretly like the offender to change and never offend them in the same way again.

Forgive your colleague because Christ commands you to bless those who curse you. Now that he is gone from your company, why should you go on drinking poison expecting him to get sick? Let him go and let yourself go.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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