Q: Both my girlfriend and I have come out of previous marriages. She's turning 27 and I'm 28. We truly love each other and want to pursue our relationship, but her parents just won't accept me, even though they have no reason for feeling this way. I've tried to talk to them, but they won't listen. She's tried to talk to them, but, alas, the same. In fact, they even went as far as to tell her that she'll never be welcome in their house again if she keeps seeing me. She doesn't want to carry on with our relationship if her parents won't accept me. Both of us need help here. We're both children of God and we've both prayed about our relationship and we feel God's peace on our relationship. How do we handle the parents?

A: This is a hard question to answer for one main reason. I don't know you, your girlfriend, or her parents. I don't know the events or reasons for the two previous divorces or of any words exchanged or events that may have occurred to cast doubt on your relationship. But this is what I can tell you.

You can still honor her parents. You can still respect them. Try to get to the heart of why they don't want their daughter with you. Maybe you aren't the issue at all, or maybe you are. I'm going to take a guess here and say that maybe they see their daughter heading for a second divorce. Instead of arguing or fighting, prove to them over the next several years that you're trustworthy. Don't rush this marriage.

Also, if your girlfriend says she won't marry you without her parents' consent, don't force the marriage.

You must work through all of this before walking down the aisle for a second time. Continue to pray and seek wisdom. Connect with a pastor in your area before you consider remarriage. Blessings as you move forward in your walk with Christ!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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