home » articles » question of the week
Question of the Week
Week of 02/05/07
Q: My husband and I are starting the I Promise series this Sunday with our class of young married couples. (We have been married 53 years). In the first session, one of the questions in the study guide bothers us: "Think about times when you may have wrestled with any of these thoughts: What will he/she think if I reveal this long-hidden truth about myself?" The response that comes to our minds is some sexual sin or indiscretion that happened years ago. We wonder what would be the point in bringing that up, especially if it has been forgiven? Two of the couples in our group have had problems recently, and we are afraid that this question would compound the problems they are already dealing with. Are we misinterpreting the question?
A: This question raises two great questions: What is the benefit of sharing struggles and past sins with each other in a small group? Can you go too far in sharing?
Authenticity and vulnerability are not only keys to effective small groups, but they are also keys to your spiritual growth. In churches today, we can grow comfortable with studying the Bible together, but getting into the messiness of another's life can be painful and scary. I understand that.
I am 66 years old, and have spent my entire ministry life exposing my failures and faults to the world. Even though I use humor when I speak and write, I still am open about learning from my mistakes and growing. My generation struggles with "airing dirty laundry." We were raised to believe that "it ain't nobody's business." My challenge to you is to go deeper with your group. Share your shortcomings with the group and areas of your life that still needs growth.
Here's how you can promote sharing that is tastefully transparent. Discuss the tendencies, not the details. With sexual sins, men should openly discuss their temptation to lust with their spouse, but they do not need to list every woman they have lusted over. A man or woman does not need to go into details about individuals from the past. The key is tastefully transparent.
Our churches are full of people who have been forgiven, but still can not forget about or heal from their past. Work through it, rather than ignore it.
Hope this helps.
Blessings
© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center
» read more from 'question of the week'
 Print this page
 E-mail this page
 Bookmark this page
 Back to top
| 
