Q: My 9 year old son was accidentally exposed to pornography this weekend on our home computer. I am very frustrated because I thought we had good software that protected us from this. Now that he has been exposed to this garbage, what should we do? What should we say?

A: When a young child is exposed to pornography is a critical that you engage in conversation. You need to ask questions like, "What did you see?" "Do you understand what you saw?"

The worst thing you can do is act like nothing happened. Not answering questions or not engaging in conversation will teach our young people that sex is shame based. Our silence as church leaders and parents leaves all the education up to the movies, music, and the schools. We need to teach that sex is a beautiful gift from God, but man has the ability to turn it into perversion, which is what you son viewed.

I think the best way to approach kids with the subject of sex is with prayer, grace, love and honesty. All too often parents fall into the unhealthy pattern of using code words. Use the anatomically correct words to teach your son. You do not want him to develop the beliefs that his body is shameful.

This recent event in your home has hastened the talk you probably were hoping to hold off another few years. You can not wait. You must have an honest, caring and appropriate conversation with him. You can do this. Let your son know that he can ask you any question.

Guard your home. Protect that computer. Answer questions.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2008 Smalley Relationship Center

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