Q: I'm a young woman and I met a young man recently where I work. He asked me out and he's proposing a relationship. I like him a lot but when I ask him about his faith, he told me that though he is a Christian, he does not bring his faith into the relationship. I decided I couldn't have a relationship with such person. Am I too hasty in my decision?

A: I believe you have made a wise choice.

While it's good to ask someone "Are you a Christian?" before you begin dating, it's better to ask, "Are you a follower of Jesus?" They may sound the same, but there's a huge difference. Someone may say they're a Christians because they were confirmed when they were 12 or grew up in a Christian home. Now when you ask if they are a follower of Jesus, then you're asking whether or not they read their Bible, pray regularly and are growing in their relationship with God. If a person just says they're a Christian, you can make a lot of assumptions that may or may not be true.

Before you begin dating, find out about the persons character. Remember that character will also manifest itself in self-control. How does the person respond to frustration? Disappointment? Does the person treat you with respect—verbally, spiritually and physically? Do they know their own boundaries? All of this is linked to one's faith.

You do not want to date someone who claims Christianity, but has no desire to grow in their relationship with the Lord. That is a road you do not want to go down. Wait. Be patient.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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