Q: Help! I have met the most wonderful man. We have both been married before, and both of our marriages ended due to our spouses infidelity. We are both Christians and we have grown together in our love for the Lord. But we are really struggling with the physical temptations that we keep facing. We have not given in to the temptation completely, but we have pushed the limits and have taken things farther than what is okay in God's eyes. How do we stay faithful to God and ourselves and still spend time together? He thinks we shouldn't see each other at all if we are not able to stop the temptations, and I say that we need to try to do what is right and keep recommitting ourselves to God if we screw up. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be in each other's lives. What do you think?

A: This is going to seem very practical and maybe even simplistic. To answer the question "Should we still spend time together?" I must say that you absolutely can spend time together.

Let me ask you a few questions. Are you crossing the line in public restaurants or stores? Are you crossing the line at church? Are you crossing the line when your kids are there with you? In those situations, I'm sure your temptation is minimal. It's when you are alone that the temptation is strongest.

Set boundaries for yourself. Such as, when your child goes to bed, he goes home. Better yet, 30 minutes before your child goes to bed, he goes home. Another healthy boundary is to not be in each other's homes alone. If your kids are away for the weekend, then that weekend you only meet each other for dinner out. The best way to fight temptation is to stay out of the environments that bring it on the strongest.

Remain faithful and set healthy boundaries.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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