Q: My wife and I met 8 years ago and married 5 years ago. I became a Christian just 2 years ago. My wife is not so interested in church or my new life in Christ. She does not want a divorce, but we do not have much of a marriage. Any encouragement for an unequally yoked marriage?

A: The Scripture gives very clear encouragement for your situation. First Corinthians 7 says, "If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her" (verse 12). Leaving your wife is not an option at this point. First Peter 3 gives us the encouragement that your spouse may possibly come to faith by watching you live out your faith.

You must guard your heart from turning your spouse into an enemy. When she sees you reading your Bible, praying, getting up early to go to church or even going to a small group she may begin looking at you with a "who do you think you are" attitude.

For example, some husbands may leave the home every Sunday morning and ask, or beg, their wife to go with them. After a few weeks of telling you know, her annoyance may turn to anger. Instead, get up, get ready, give her a hug and a kiss, and exit the house in a humble, gracious way.

Let her see your actions, rather than your words. Avoid preachy tones. Avoid blatant expressions of your faith that in your face rather than true outpourings of your heart. Coming right at your mate with an in your face approach will not work. Paul puts it this way, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15).

Be gentle and respectful as you live out your new life in Christ. Your mate will take notice. I have prayed for your wife while answering this question. I pray she comes to know the Lord.

Blessings

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

Print this page

E-mail this page

Bookmark this page

Back to top