What is a small group constitution? It's a written list of the most important things you and others in your group need to keep the group running successfully, during group time and in your individual lives. It objectifies your purpose as a group, and it sets guidelines for a nation. When you read a restaurant menu, you know what the establishment is all about. You can say the same for a small group constitution.

This constitution profits each member because our crucial feelings and needs—critical to intimate communication—are understood and in writing. It may evolve over time. Yours could have 3, 5, 10 items … whatever fits your situation.

A small group constitution brings a group of people into unity. There's terrific strength and consistency when you're united on a course of action you all believe in and are committed to.

Everyone should help write your constitution. That means the rules it contains are truly the whole group's rules and not just a code imposed by the leaders of the group. This caused every member to become very committed to the whole approach. You can read through it and see how you all do at the beginning of every meeting.

A constitution helps keep everyone together on what the consequences will be when small group rules are broken. Just as a restaurant menu lists rules such as "No shirt, no shoes, no service," so a group of people in community with one another have rules to meet their needs.

Let's say one of your small group constitution items is "Everyone will arrive by 6:15 to be ready to participate in the study together." You arrive at 6:20 p.m. After the group, your leader says, "You were supposed to be here by 6:15 p.m., but you are late."

Once you are caught, the agreed upon consequence kicks in. You can choose various penalties for violations of your constitution. Pick things that are realistic but still mildly painful if they're to be effective. For example, you might agree to bring all the snacks the following week, put five dollars in a money jar to spend on a fun outing for the group at the end of the year, and so on.

For the constitution to do this part of its job effectively, they key once again is flexibility. Members of the group should feel safe to introduce any revisions, especially if they are feeling the current rules are not realistic or profitable for the group.

Recommended Resources:

Buy Making Love Last Forever

Buy Secrets to Lasting Love Study Guide

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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