Problems show up in even the best groups. Here are some of the most common group problems, with symptoms and suggested solutions.
| SYMPTOM | POSSIBLE PROBLEMS | APPROACHES |
| Members come late | Group pattern to start late. Exact time not clear. | Set definite time. Begin promptly. Discuss with group: "We're having trouble getting going. Is it too early? Are there conflicts?" Let members respond. |
| Agreed-on preparation not completed | Too much expected. Not clear how preparation relates to what group will do. Lack of commitment (may relate to being too busy and other priorities). | Be realistic. May need to change expectations. Check to make sure group understands and agrees to preparation. |
| Quiet members | Questions are too hard or too easy; not enough observation questions asked. Members not prepared. Lack of trust. Leader and others not handling silence well; jumping in too quickly. | Follow sequence of observation before interpretation. Have quiet member read passage out loud. Remind members: "Verbal people need to hold back at times; quiet members need to force themselves to speak up. Direct questions (ones that others can answer too) to quiet person. On an application question, do a round where each person in the circle responds. Allow time after question for people to think. |
| Overly talkative member | Outgoing. Doesn't like silence. Sees things quickly. | Talk to privately. Mention that we need silence after some questions to think and reflect. Ask for help in drawing others out. Suggest he or she ask, "What do some of the rest of you think?" |
| Issue causing disagreement | Verbal people "win out." Creates tangents. Members don't accept their differences. | State ground rules. Try to stick to the passage or subject at hand. Suggest they discuss problem after the meeting. Acknowledge that there are differences of opinion on this; on what can we agree? |
| Always-right member | Knows right way for everything. Knows only one interpretation of passage. | Avoid arguing right and wrong. Put focus back on passage to collect more data and summarize. Clarify facts. Help group look for alternatives and see "right" person's frame of reference, e.g. "In what circumstances might Sam's interpretation hold true?" |
| Disagreeing member | "But" is favorite word: "That's true, but" May hold group back from action or conclusions, causing group to stagnate. | Give feedback to disagreeing member: "What exactly causes your hesitation?" Confront group with choice of holding back (no risk) or going ahead (with risk but also growth): "How can we get around this objection?" |
| Pace is too slow or too fast | Too much time spent on some activities. Little interaction. Questions too simplistic (or too general). Full answers not sought. Application too general. | Plan specific amounts of time for each activity. Move along with good transitions. Test study questions with a co-leader: Are they clear? Are they open, but not overly general? Ask for specifics in sharing. Push for complete answers: "What else?" |
| Conversational prayer stifled | Lack of trust. New to members. Not aware of specifics for prayer. | Spend more time building community and praying for needs. Pray in direct and specific statements or requests. Discuss conversational prayer. Pray on one topic before moving to another. Do a study on prayer. |
| Group ingrown; no growth or mission | Purpose not clear. Study not motivating. Limited sense of growth of God's kingdom. Fear. | Plan non-threatening activities to which you can invite others; do active outreach where new members are added to and cared for by small group. Center Bible study and worship on character of God, purposes of God, aspects of group life or life of the church. |
| Superficial sharing | Leader not setting example. Application not specific. Community building not challenging growth as a group. | Plan community exercises carefully for stage of group's development. Ask for specifics in sharing. Be open and specific in your own sharing. Meet one-to-one outside group for sharing and prayer. |
| Members with ongoing problems | Problems dominate group life. Member monopolizes group with personal crises. | Talk individually to the person, suggesting resources for help (e.g. counseling). Help group see its purpose, identity (church groups are not necessarily therapy groups). Continue in prayer and loving support. |
© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center. Used by permission.
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