Do you avoid difficult conversations for fear that conflict could erupt?

Conflict isn't fun—and it's rarely pretty. So it's no wonder most of us dislike it and try to avoid it whenever possible. And it's perfectly normal for us to want to avoid conflicts.

But conflict is inevitable. It's a natural part of all relationships, healthy or unhealthy. All relationships—with our teenagers, colleagues, friends, extended family, church acquaintances, or neighbors—will experience conflict because people differ so greatly as individuals. And we should value those differences! Because we're different in personality, gender, opinions, concerns, and expectations, it's only natural that we disagree.

So don't be alarmed as you begin to experience disputes and disagreements. Rather than worry about when and if conflict will occur, instead determine now how you will handle any conflict when it does crop up. Your goal should not be to eliminate disagreements, but to reach the other side together. Conflicts, if handled in a healthy manner, have the potential to draw you closer to each other. In fact, disagreements are a necessary part of the process of drawing near to loved ones! When arguments occur, they can bring benefits, if you manage them properly.

Conflict is actually a valuable crossroads—a point of growth in your relationships.

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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