"How do I show her that she is valuable?"

When you give honor you're thinking, "I'm going to show this individual that he or she is extremely valuable to me."

Honor is, first and foremost, a decision. It is the simple decision to place high value, worth, and importance on another person, to view him or her as a priceless gift and grant that person a position in your life worthy of great respect. Love involves putting that decision into action. In other words, honor is a gift we give to others. It isn't purchased by their actions or contingent on our emotions. You're giving them distinction whether or not they like it, want it, or deserve it. It's a conferring distinction, much like an honorary degree. You give honor to a loved one merely because that person is alive and breathing, not because he or she has done something to deserve it—you just do it; it's a decision you make. You will soon see honoring your mate gives legs to the words "I love you." It puts that statement into action.

Honor is not only the first step of love, it's also the single most important principle for building an intimate relationship. The literal definition of honor is "To give preference to someone by attaching high value to them." When you confer honor you're thinking, "I'm married to an extremely valuable Person. I'm making the decision to consider him or her even more important than I consider myself to be." Honor is the goal, the prize, the hope that you bestow upon your mate. No one ever reaches perfection, but that hope is always before you; it both guides your relationship and regulates it. I've found that honor can be a reminder; it makes me want to repair any damage I cause in my relationship, simply because I honor my mate.

Are you bringing God your best? In your time? Resources? Relationships? Talents?

Do the people in your closest relationships feel as though they are extremely valuable to you?

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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