"Is quality time more important than quantity time?"

Quality is no substitute for quantity when it comes to family time.

In the ancient Hebrew culture, a child's education was the primary responsibility of the parents, not formal institutions or government. Parents were charged with teaching their children by modeling truth, sharing God's Word in everyday conversation and by experiencing life together. Albeit time consuming, this was considered the best way to educate.

Years ago, when our kids were little, I started speaking at family retreats across the country. As I spoke, I'd pick out families who looked happy and seemed to respond well to each other. When I had the opportunity, I'd approach the husband and wife with several questions.

First, I'd ask, "You seem to enjoy each other so much and have a real love for one another! What do you think is the most important thing you do as a family that makes you so close?"

Almost without exception, each family I interviewed said, "We've made a commitment to spend quality and quantity time together regularly. We have separate interests, but we make sure we do things together as a family on a regular basis."

Then I'd ask, "What's the one thing you do more than any other that you feel bonds you together?" Time and time again, I'd hear an answer that I simply couldn't believe. What was the common denominator of almost every one of these "successful" families? Camping!

At that time, Norma and I had never camped together—by choice. But since learning this secret, we camped together for over fifteen years while our children were younger. That gives me some authority to speak on the subject, and I can say with absolute conviction—camping is not the secret. Before I let our non-camping friends off the hook, though, I do need to say that camping is still the best method I know to find the real secret to a close-knit family. The secret is spending time together during a crises or difficult situations.

Can you think of a time when you and your family experienced a "disaster" on a family vacation?

If we were to ask your kids about the amount of time you spend with them, what would their response be?

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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