"You need to make me happy."

Neither marriage nor any other human relationship makes one whole out of two halves. When you expect a human relationship to turn your half into a whole, you're headed for disappointment. Why? Because what really happens is that you believe that this other (flawed) person will make up for your personal deficiencies. This is when your heartache and disappointment and disillusionment double. It's not hard to see why. In your experience, do two unhappy or incomplete people normally form one happy couple? Not usually.

The truth is, no one can "make" you happy. Not a spouse. Not a friend. Not a boss or a neighbor or a pastor. Abraham Lincoln spoke wisely when he said, "I reckon that people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." You, and not someone else, choose how you will react to what life throws at you. You, and no one else, decide what you will do when someone pushes your emotional buttons. The practical equivalent of "You will be about as happy as you make up your mind to be" is nothing but "Only by exercising the Power of One—by taking personal responsibility for your thoughts—will you find the secret to building strong relationships." The thoughts you have and your reactions to life determine your level of happiness and fulfillment. My thinking today is, "God alone is my happiness, life, love and fulfillment." Eph. 3:16-20

Do you look to others to make you happy?

When people let you down, what can you do to change your reactions?

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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