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Relationship with Others
Week of 06/16/05
"I'm working on myself, but seeing no change in the other person."
It's a shame that the word "serendipity" doesn't get used much anymore. It's a great word. It means an aptitude for unexpectedly making desirable discoveries.
Serendipity often happens when you ask God how he might want to change you rather than focusing on what you can do to change the other person. When we make it our goal to change our own behavior rather than the other person's, that person often notices the positive transformation taking place in us and begins his or her own journey of personal change.
Most of us like the word "guarantee" better than the word "serendipity"—but if we insist on the former, we may get only a broken heart. What if the steps you take to change yourself don't result in any change in the other person? What if nothing prompts him or her to change?
In such a case, serendipity can still happen—just not, perhaps, the one you longed for. If you choose to travel the road of personal transformation, the worst that can happen is that you will end up with a life that's far more enjoyable, satisfying, fulfilling, and helpful to others than the one you had while you continued to insist on changing the other person.
Even so, I have to admit, you may never get your heart's desire. But isn't it freeing to know that God is still in charge and has our best interest in mind.
Have you taken steps to change?
Has it resulted in change of the other person?
What if nothing prompts him or her to change?
And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?
Matthew 7:3
© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center
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