"I'll go halfway if you go halfway."

One of the things that will help you take control is clearing up a prevalent misconception. Many of us grew up believing a powerful but very deceptive myth. We completely bought into the idea that relationships are all about back-scratching. You know: "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours." Or, it's like the myth of the fifty-fifty marriage: "I'll go halfway if you go halfway."

Have you ever caught yourself or your friends making statements like the following?

In a successful marriage, both spouses meet all the other's needs.

The best relationships "complete" those involved; what was half becomes whole.

The best way to find a best friend is to look for someone who can make you happy.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? They probably do. Yet despite what you may have been taught, all three statements are false. Myths. Deceptions. Lies!

And if you believe them, they'll end up costing you big.

The truth is what we often call "needs" normally better fit the category of "wants." We want others to respect us, admire us, and need us. But are those true needs? No one can meet all our needs aside from God himself. If you depend on a spouse to meet your "needs," you set yourself up for trouble. The relationship becomes an unhealthy, codependent one. Your fulfillment is emphatically not the job of someone else. God has given this job to you, and only you can shoulder it. God has promised to meet all of your needs. You are the one who cooperates with him and receives his riches as he gives them.

Have you believed the lie?

How will you look to God to fill your needs, rather than others?

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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