Do you walk away from arguments with your most treasured family members feeling as though you just lost? While the other person is talking, are you thinking of what you can say to combat his or her words?

Imagine what would happen if your body tried to function according to the rules of a win-lose system. Suppose your heart and your kidneys got into a heated debate about which one most needed a steady blood supply, winner take all.

"Hey, I pump blood through the whole body," declares the heart. "Without me, every organ dies—including you!"

"That may be," retorts the kidneys, "but if the blood doesn't go through me, all you accomplish with your incessant pumping is to poison the entire system. And then guess who dies?"

Silly? Of course it is. Does it really matter who "wins" the debate? Because both the heart and the kidneys live as part of a single body, what affects one affects them both. The heart cannot "win" at the expense of the kidneys any more than the kidneys can "win" at the expense of the heart. They have to find a win-win solution because a win-lose solution is nothing but a loss.

In a relationship, there is no such thing as a win-lose solution. There is either win-win or lose-lose. No other options exist.

Recommended Resources: The DNA of Relationships

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© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center

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